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What Goes through a Red Crossers Mind While Watching Game of Thrones

I jumped on the Game of Thrones bandwagon a little late, but it happened to coincide with my new position at the American Red Cross. As I binge-watch to catch up, let’s relive seasons 1-4 through a Red Crosser’s inner monologue, featuring handy links to the real life Red Cross resources. Who knows – the multitude of apps, resources and trainings from the Red Cross might have made a difference in Westeros. But probably not.

People are dealing with a lot of emergency situations here. Too. many. swords. APPLY PRESSURE TO THE WOUND!

swordhearteater

 

Dany definitely needs to learn some fire safety tips. Actually, everyone needs to learn fire safety tips now that dragons are crisping everyone to a well done crisp.

danyfire

dragonfire

 

If there was a Red Cross chapter in Westeros, Robb Stark’s wife would totally be a disaster volunteer.

Robbwife

 

Ugh, more sword action. And don’t even think about messing with “Needle.” Arya Stark is not messing around.

needle

 

Calling all blood donors. #RedWedding

redwedding

 

Everyone keeps moving around and losing family members. It’s a bit scattered. I’m sure Reconnecting Families could handle this, but it’d be a doozy.

aryahug

 

I’m not sure the witch doctor used approved first aid protocols when dealing with Khal Drogo’s wound. *Opens First Aid App, can’t locate ‘magic’*

horse.lord_.fall_.game_.of_.thrones

 

As a child, if The Hound had stuck his face under cool running water, do you think he’d be in better shape?

hound

 

While they’re geared toward those 11 and older, I feel like Sam could use some babysitting training. Maybe the Advanced Child Care Training would work?

sambabysitting

 

Let’s assume direwolves are covered under the dog tab in the Pet First Aid App.

direwolf

 

Sansa Stark absolutely needs some assistance from a disaster mental health professional after what she’s been through.

sansacry

 

While the efforts to declare “He’s choking!” and “Help the poor boy!” are admirable, it’s probably better to, you know, actually help. But I guess it became clear pretty quickly the five back blows and five abdominal thrusts weren’t going to do Joffrey (or the realm for that matter) any good.

joffrey

 

Last time we saw Gendry he was stepping into a boat, not knowing how to row, let alone swim. He hasn’t yet reappeared. Precursor for future secret water escapes: Red Cross swim lessons.

gendry

 

No matter what type of disaster or emergency, you should have a go bag ready. Daenerys Targaryen’s army has come to abdicate the slaves? King’s Landing under siege? White Walkers on the horizon? Grab your go bag and get out!

whitewalker

 

Jon Snow and the wildlings are laughing in the face of Red Cross winter weather tips as they scale the Wall. (“Before tackling strenuous tasks in cold temperatures, consider your physical condition, the weather factors and the nature of the task.”)

climb

 

One thing added to the Red Cross comfort kits would really make these people feel at home: wine.

wine

 

We at the Red Cross are fairly used to the sight of blood, but…wow. #RIPtheRedViper.

scream

 

What other movies or TV shows could be viewed in a whole new light with the Red Cross?

 

 

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